**DISCLAIMER: This post is part of a read-along, and I intend to ruin the entire plot in the most roundabout way possible.**
By some terrible/wonderful coincidence, the end of our read-along exactly coincided with the monster deadline that’s been plaguing me all month. I present to you my excuse for this post happening in *GASP* MAY. I guess this means I won’t get any cake at our end-of-read-along pizza party.
I found this last section to be pretty unspectacular, because it seemed to reiterate a lot of the things we already knew and/or had figured out with our powers of deduction and plot prediction.
My reading went thusly:
Oh, hello, world’s longest letter from Mrs. Catherick, in which she
creepily flirts with Walter. Boring
boring boring. She appears to like presents. Yep, she traded her own daughter
for a gold watch and chain. Boring
boring. Percival’s parents weren’t married to each other. Yes, yes,
Catherick, we knew that. Get on with it. Boring. Anne never actually knew the Secret that basically claimed her life. Poor Anne. Boring boring. Mrs. Catherick protests too much about the question of Anne’s
parentage. (Surprise! Mr. Fairlie was her father! Anne and Laura were half-sisters!
WE WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG.) Mrs. Catherick issues the best invitation to tea that
I have ever heard.
“My hour for tea is half-past five, and my buttered toast waits for nobody.” (p. 673)
Walter divulges that he’s been telling the story using
feigned names THIS WHOLE TIME. I feel betrayed, Walter . . . or, whatever your
name is.
Fosco has the opportunity to expose Laura’s hiding place to
the owner of the asylum but changes his mind at the last moment because his
devotion to Marian will not allow him to cause her such suffering. Marian is not flattered.
“No words can say how degraded I feel in my own estimation when I think of it—but the one weak point in that man’s iron character is the horrible admiration he feels for me.” (p. 683)
Then Walter sums up our feelings about Fosco’s villainy,
and also what makes him such a wonderfully complex character.
“The best men are not consistent in good—why should the worst men be consistent in evil?” (p. 683)
Then Walter waxes sentimental.
“There (I said in my own heart)—there, if ever I have the power to will it, all that is mortal of her shall remain, and share the grave-bed with the loved friend of her childhood, with the dear remembrance of her life. That rest shall be sacred—that companionship always undisturbed!” (p. 693)
Then Walter and Laura, predictably, are wed.
And THEN, my dear friends, this lackluster section was
lackluster no longer.
PESCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! |
I have never been so happy in my LIFE for a character’s
return. And even though we’ve heard no mention of Pesca since the earliest
pages of the book, it turns out he's been a true and faithful friend to Walter
all along, but it just didn’t happen to be relevant to the Big Mystery so
we didn’t get to hear anything about it. I take back every nice thing I ever said about Walter.
Anyway, they go to the opera to see if Pesca recognizes
Fosco, because all Italians know each other, apparently. (Did anyone else read that sentence about Fosco
occupying a place 12 or 14 seats from the end of the bench and picture
Fosco literally occupying 12 or 14 seats?) Pesca declares, in Pesca fashion, “I have never set my two eyes on that big fat man
before, in all my life” (p. 713). But when the Fat Man sees Pesca (who, might I
remind you, is so tiny that he had to get a boost so he could see over the
heads of ladies who were SITTING DOWN), his enviably unflappable nerves are decidedly flapped.
And HOW does our delightful little Pesca strike terror into the heart of the great and powerful Fosco?
Well, because Pesca is at the top of a secret Brotherhood, and Fosco is
scheduled to be assassinated any day now for betraying the oath of that Brotherhood. HOLY
TINY ITALIAN ASSASSIN. My heart, it swells.
And then we have the big confrontation between Fosco and
Walter, to which, thank goodness, Walter remembered to bring his brain. Fosco
agrees, under threat of exposure to the Brotherhood, to write his confession of
the Great Switcheroo. There aren’t too many grand revelations in his
confession, but he does show once and for all how creepily fond he is of
Marian. Like, dirty-old-man levels of fondness. Also, he reveals that he actually
WAS trying to help Marian get better when she was sick and the doctor attending
to her actually WAS an idiot. And he wants us to know, also, that Anne died most
inconveniently of natural causes . . . but if she hadn’t, he would have killed her
probably the next day. Admirable. And off he toddles to Paris to be tossed in the river by someone in the Brotherhood who isn’t Pesca.
I was somewhat bothered by the fact that Marian vowed never
to leave Laura and Walter. I suspect Wilkie is making some sort of statement
here about how Marian doesn’t need a husband to be happy, but I don’t like the
idea of her being the eternal third wheel. She deserves better than that.
But other than Marian, who will be providing Walter and Laura free babysitting for the rest of her days, everyone lives happily ever after in Limmeridge House because Mr. Fairlie's nerves finally killed him.
And now, we dance the dance of the victorious read-alongers!
"
ReplyDeleteit turns out he's been a true and faithful friend to Walter all along, but it just didn’t happen to be relevant to the Big Mystery so we didn’t get to hear anything about it. I take back every nice thing I ever said about Walter."
YES. Ugh, Walter (or whoever), I was so pissed off at you for that. And that sort of thing happened like TEN TIMES. "Oh, this awesome thing happened, but it's not relevant, so myah." I like that we're mad at Walter and not Wilkie for this.
THE ELEPHANT AND THE MOUSE. Brilliant.
Pizza party at my place. You guys just have to..like....get on planes and stuff.
While this readalong is super important (obviously) hooray for getting your work done first!! That deserves Fosco amount of tarts.
ReplyDeleteAnd Yay for Pesca coming back and why Walter didn't keep mentioning him is absurd. Walter has no taste yet is surrounded by awesome people. I also can't help picturing Pesca as Toulouse-Lautrec as portrayed by John Leguizamo in Moulin Rouge.
You are totally allowed cake because you've been working all hard and things so thumbs up for that! I'm not sure what you said after the Marlon Brando gif because omgbrando, but I'm sure it was good!
ReplyDeleteOH and also, I didn't really like that Marian was never going to leave Laura and Walter either. But she does love Laura A LOT, and they can snuggle together and things (WINK WINK) whenever Walter's away doing boring man things like, I don't know, drawing shit? So that's just good for everyone!
He DID do that a lot. We don't want the legally acceptable version, Walter...WE WANT INTRIGUE.
ReplyDeleteI really want pizza now.
I get tarts? (Of course now ALL I can think about is tarts.)
ReplyDeleteWalter is the "straight man." Every comedy needs one, I suppose...but SNORE. I TOTALLY picture Pesca as Leguizamo too! Probably because you said it at some point earlier, and it's brilliant so I adopted it into my mental files. Thanks for that!
Cake AND tarts AND pizza? I would very much like to eat all these things...right now, please.
ReplyDeleteIs it bad that we're so attracted to Marlon Brando as Stanley? Does that cancel out all our empowered female mojo? I really hope not.
I didn't think about the fact that Laura and Marian can have secret canoodle time. Fair point.
Love the elephant and mouse comparison with Pesca and Fosco. Very apt. To be honest, that whole doctor thing with Mrs. Rubelle still seems like the most muddled part of the plot for me, but it doesn't seriously dent my enjoyment of the story.
ReplyDeleteI'm so doing the victory dance!
ReplyDelete"(LAURA advances again. The idea that it is MARIAN herself dawns on her mind. She holds out her hand timidly to MARIAN, as if not quite certain yet.)
ReplyDeleteMarian (breathless: her voice choked by emotion). Laura?
(An answering smile appears on LAURA'S face. A cry of rapture bursts from MARIAN. They rush into each other's arms.)
THE CURTAIN FALLS. THE END OF THE THIRD ACT."
BAM.
I didn't do the readalong because I'd already read The Woman in White, but that buttered toast line was the highlight of the whole thing for me. (Which tells you something about how I felt about it...much preferred The Moonstone!)
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I really enjoy your blog. I'm not a book blogger, but I'm a book person, and it's really fun to read your thoughts! :)
It WAS a little hurried. Maybe Mr. Rubelle was in the Brotherhood too...and also on the run? Because Fosco said he was a spy as well. I was just relieved to see that Mrs. Rubelle wasn't as nefarious as I assumed at first. She wasn't poisoning Marian and Anne at least.
ReplyDeleteYAY! No one else would do the victory dance with me, and I was starting to feel a little self-conscious.
ReplyDeleteI actually DID really enjoy Woman in White, and since people keep saying Moonstone is even better, I'm really excited to read it. Wilkie is my new best friend. : )
ReplyDeleteThank you for the kind words. I'm so glad you enjoy my ramblings!
Steamy.
ReplyDeletePESCA IS SO FABULOUS. He would have been a million times better as the narrator. Him and Marian could solve crimes together as a dynamic duo... I would read that so hard.
ReplyDeleteThe buttered toast line was amazing! It really reminded me of a line in Ella Enchanted, though (which was my favorite book when I was in middle school, so I have of course read it about 300 times and can identify similar lines...) Also, our dancing gifs should get together and have a mega-sized dance party.