Friday, April 5, 2013

Harry Potter and the Order of the Readalong 3: "Always listen to the woman."

We're three fourths of the way through Order of the Phoenix (minus maybe four chapters, because I have not finished this week's section), and here's the (partial) news from Wizard Town:

Ron gives Hermione perfume for Christmas (going steady); Hermione gives both Ron and Harry homework planners for Christmas (friend zone); Kreacher has a cherished photograph of Bellatrix in his hidey-hole (Kreacher and Bellatrix sitting in a tree, C-R-U-C-I-A-T-U-S-ing); even wizards aren't safe from the horrors of WebMD ("The various healers called out to them, diagnosing odd complaints and suggesting horrible remedies."); Sirius is no match for Snape in a war of words ("I've warned you, Snivellus." Nice try, Sirius.); occlumency is defense against . . . external penetration(?); and Harry stares into the fire and wishes "more than anything that Sirius's head would appear there and give him advice about girls."

I think Dumbledore knows more about the womens than Sirius does.

I think maybe Harry's angst is interfering with his ability to remember basic facts.
"You survived when you were just a baby," she said quietly.
"Yeah, well," said Harry wearily, moving toward the door, "I dunno why, nor does anyone else, so it's nothing to be proud of."
Uh . . . yeah, you DO know why you survived, and so does everyone else because Dumbledore told you at the end of the last book and probably a few other times before that. And I'm glad you think your mother's ultimate sacrifice is nothing to be proud of, YOU TWAT.

But it's OK, because within the span of 5 pages, he gets verbally spanked first by the painting of Phineas Nigellus and then by Ginny. And it. is. glorious.
"Young people are so infernally convinced that they are absolutely right about everything. Has it not occurred to you, my poor puffed-up popinjay, that there might be an excellent reason why the headmaster of Hogwarts is not confiding every tiny detail of his plans to you? Have you never paused, while feeling hard-done-by, to note that following Dumbledore's orders has never yet led you into harm? No. No, like all young people, you are quite sure that you alone feel and think, you alone recognize danger, you alone are the only one clever enough to realize what the Dark Lord may be planning. . . ." (p. 496)
Of course, this Truth Bomb ricochets right off of Harry's thick head. But the Ginny Sniper Rifle comes in and finishes him off.
"I didn't want anyone to talk to me," said Harry, who was feeling more and more nettled.
"Well that was a bit stupid of you," said Ginny angrily, "seeing as you don't know anyone but me who's been possessed by You-Know-Who, and I can tell you how it feels."
Harry remained quite still as the impact of these words hit him. Then he turned on the spot to face her.
"I forgot," he said.
"Lucky you," said Ginny coolly. (pp. 499-500)
I think we're done here.


  1. Yay, Ginny quote! Gotta do it. The awesomeness in that scene is the one thing I think we've all agreed on in this readalong. Go Ginny, bringing people together.

    And YES! What is WITH that "I don't know why"?! That is not the kind of thing you forget.

  2. I KNEW everyone would talk about that Ginny scene, so I almost didn't but then I did...because I had to.

  3. Yes to all of this. Especially the Phineas Truth Bomb and "Ginny Sniper Rifle"

  4. "And I'm glad you think your mother's ultimate sacrifice is nothing to be proud of, YOU TWAT." OMG YES! Also I enjoy your use of twat! I feel like it's a really English swear! But I could be wrong.

    Does Sirius even know anything about girls? Personally, I think he had the hots for James.

  5. I think it is a really English swear, because when I hear it in my head, it has an English accent. At any rate, I like it best with an English accent.

    Dumbledore knows more about girls than Sirius, and we KNOW Dumbledore likes the mens. So...that's saying something, I think.

  6. It is genuinely MY favourite swear, and I'm English, therefore it must be English! (This is terrible logic. And yet.)

    This is true! Why doesn't Sirius ever talk about girls?! Are we blowing something wide open here? (Or does everyone think this already and I'm really late to the party?)

  7. It SEEMS like it's come up before, about Sirius crushing on James. But then there's also the theory that he was super into Lilly. EITHER way, he has no idea about the ladies.

  8. I'm sorry, I know you probably put a lot of effort and time into this post but I can't get past that first gif with Dumbledore. Oh. My. God. I'm DEAD.

  9. EXCELLENT recap, and I fully appreciate the Harry-bashing. Also, clown-Dumbly? YES. Even though that's pulled from quite a horrific scene in the 6th movie. I CARE NOT.

  10. Oh please, you KNOW blogging for me is 10% writing and 90% searching for the perfect GIF.

  11. I saw it as more of a drag-queen Dumbly...because I don't prefer clowns. But yeahhhh, I had to pretend I didn't know what scene that image was from.

  12. There are times when I look at the clock and realize I've spent half an hour trying to find a gif of that scene in Mean Girls when Damien's like, That's why her hair is so big, it's full of SECRETS. (That gif does not exist. Someone needs to make me that gif because I would use it often.)

  13. SIRIUS AND LUPIN, YOU GUYS. I'd ship that.

  14. You know, this time around, my reading's much more influenced by things I have read on the interwebz, for I had not noticed so much the first couple times round. But...Sirius...ISN'T very into girls, is he. The only mention of them connected with him seems to be during the O.W.L. exam when he's not paying attention to one in love with him.

    While I think it's nice JKR was willing to say Dumbledore's gay, I think it...might...kinda....seem...yeah. Sirius and girls is not my OTP.

  15. Why is everyone Sirius/Lupin and not Sirius-unrequited-with-James? 'Cause that seems way more likely. But then that also leads into some weirdness with Harry.

  16. Well...Lupin is still alive. Would be my guess.

  17. I read that part with Sirius during the O.W.L. after I wrote this post, but YES. I thought that was a bit suspicious how oblivious he was to the female attention and how focused he was on James for always. And the contrast is huge, because James barely notices anything BUT girls and whether they're paying attention to him, which seems normal for a teenage boy. But I think that makes me like Sirius more.