Friday, April 19, 2013

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Readalong 1: I would name MY Pygmy Puff "Tribble"


I don't know if I'm still recovering from the end of Order of the Phoenix or if Jupiter is in retrograde or my panties are in a twist, but all I have for you today are bullet points. Bullet points squeezed from what's left of my shriveled little raisin of a heart.
  • NOOOOO, AMELIA BONES.
We hardly knew thee.
  • Why does Narcissa Malfoy look exactly like her husband? I know there's a good deal of in-breeding in Wizarding World, but the physical evidence suggests that they are twins. And this might explain the curious shape of Draco's head.
  • Bellatrix and Snape, I'm sure Voldemort loves you both equally.
"But what use have you been?" sneered Bellatrix. "What useful information have we had from you?"
"My information has been conveyed directly to the Dark Lord," said Snape. "If he chooses not to share it with you"
"He shares everything with me!" said Bellatrix, firing up at once. "He calls me his most loyal, his most faithful"
"Does he?" said Snape, his voice delicately inflected to suggest his disbelief. "Does he still, after the fiasco at the Ministry?"
"That was not my fault!" said Bellatrix, flushing.
  • I rather like the sound of this sentence: "Narcissa looked up at him, her face eloquent with despair."
  • Even when the adult in question is of the naughty variety, it makes me uncomfortable when Harry mouths off. I would never, just never talk to a grown-up the way he talks to Narcissa in Madam Malkin's shop. I would, instead, quietly craft a passive-aggressive tweet to be posted at my earliest convenience.
  • This is the greatest: "Harry started to laugh. He heard a weak sort of moan beside him and looked around to see Mrs. Weasley gazing, dumbfounded, at the poster. Her lips moved silently, mouthing the name 'U-No-Poo.' 'They'll be murdered in their beds!' she whispered."
  • Ginny named her pink and/or purple Pygmy Puff "Arnold." Trevor and Arnold are sure to be the best of friends.
  • "The usual," said Ron indifferently, demonstrating a rude hand gesture. "Not like him, though, is it? Wellthat is"—he did the hand gesture again.
Just so we're clear . . . THIS rude hand gesture?

21 comments:

  1. I love your Buffy gif AND that episode that it is from. That trumps all bullet point, surely?



    It is odd how different looking the Black sisters are. Wonder what Andromeda looked like?

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  2. Oh, I totally agree about Harry mouthing off to Narcissa - NAY, Mrs. Malfoy. Not cool.

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  3. I figured Ron either flipped the bird or the forks, but it'd be far more hilarious if he replicated the Buffy gif.

    That Simpsons gif is the PERFECT visual for their argument, so BRAVO!

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  4. I just couldn't think of a finger gesture that would fit the context. Although I guess finger gestures are good for EVERY occasion. Huzzah!


    My husband read this post and was like, "Why do you keep talking about incest? STOP THAT."

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  5. Andromeda probably has flaming red hair. Just to round it out.

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  6. Although it's somehow NOT upsetting when he sasses Lucius. Probably because Lucius is more eeeeeeevil. And smarmy.

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  7. I realize that I don't know what these forks are that you speak of. Is this some silly Aussie thing that you silly Aussies do?

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  8. You don't think you'd even be that rude to a grown-up whose husband was implicated in the death of not one not two BUT THREE of your parental figures? And that grown-up herself is a super huge racist and basically is part of the KKK? Because I feel like at that point I'd probably be okay saying some rude stuff to someone.

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  9. That Simpsons gif is PERFECT for the Bellatrix/Snape battle of wits.

    And yes, I totally figured Ron's rude hand gesture is the one Buffy so nicely illustrates for us.

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  10. It makes the most sense, right? Plus, I can't really visualize the characters in this universe throwing up the middle finger. I don't know why.

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  11. I've HEARD of this. The phenomenon I'm more concerned about for myself is that one where people start to resemble their dogs.

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  12. Wait, cos the middle finger is MORE offensive than Buffy's?

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  13. My sensibilities may be a little off.

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  14. So much inbreeding in the wizarding world. And more to come next week (er, this week. I am late commenting).

    I had figured the rude hand gesture was the backwards peace sign that Raych mentioned, because I figure any rude hand gesture in England is that. But I hope it the one you said because COMEDY.

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  15. That's the one Raych. It's basically just an alternative to the finger. Although it's kinda old school, so it's usually a little more friendly in use. If that makes sense? Like if a friend was teasing me about my love of HP I would throw up the forks because it doesn't really have the same impact anymore.

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  16. So, I was kind of thinking of a more finger oriented hand gesture, but let's go with your one! (BUFFY GIFSSSSS! I love that bit because just when you're paralysed with fear, Buffy says she's going to wank the gentlemen to death! Amazing)

    Anyway! Why DOES Narcissa look like her husband, and not at all like her sister? I feel like Lucius is ALSO on the Black family tree. OR that JK watches too much of The Simpsons, cause that's what Milhouse's parents are like.

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  17. Some married people start to look alike? My parents-in-laws look like siblings, which is why their children share SUCH A FAMILY RESEMBLANCE. Seriously, in my family, we don't even look like we KNOW each other, but they all look like each other in various wigs.

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  18. Is it not that backwards 'peace' sign that is super-offensive in Britain/Aus and then just slightly baffling in North America? I mean, I assume.

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  19. Ooer, I am intrigued. What does it mean? I mean, I assume some variation of "suck it"/"fuck you" but I am v. curious.

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  20. I think him sassing Narcissa is annoying because we know just from the Spinner's End chapter that she a) isn't all that gung-ho about Volemort or b) changed her mind when Draco was being used as some sort of pawn by Voldemort. So Harry assumes she's just as bad as Lucius, but the reader knows she has depth and a lot of traumatizing shit to deal with, so we feel bad about it.


    Or something.

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