Friday, February 22, 2013

Harry Potter and the Readalong of Fire 1: Sorry about your nose, big guy

I have no Neville/Harry subtext to comment on YET for Goblet of Fire, but Peter Pettigrew and Voldemort are fulfilling that need nicely for now.
"I can always tell, Wormtail! You are regretting that you ever returned to me. I revolt you. I see you flinch when you look at me, feel you shudder when you touch me. . . ." (p. 9)
There, there, Voldemort Fetus.

And he's calling Pettigrew by his school nickname, so . . . yeah.

The whole World Cup chapter is clearly fantastic, with the underage gambling and Mr. Weasley's sincere fondness of Muggles (bless them) and Percy sitting on a proverbial hedgehog and the Bulgarian mascots almost causing Ron and Harry to leap to their untimely deaths (all in good fun, really) and Viktor Krum being all broody and bird-of-prey-like (and waaay too old for Hermione, so let's just not).

But then the Death Eaters have to get tipsy and start exploding things and floating Muggles.

And poop on all your parties, too.

The obvious similarities between the Death Eaters and the Ku Klux Klan got me thinking, is there an equivalent society in the UK? I always kind of identify the KKK as distinctly American, but I suppose they've come to be a universal symbol for intolerance. Teach me things, Laura, for you are British and I'm too lazy to use the Internet.

And when Harry, Ron, and Hermione are running away from the Death Eaters, they stumble on Ludo Bagman just kind of hanging out behind a tree in the dark woods. No reason to be suspicious of him at all. (I AM SUSPICIOUS OF HIM.)

Yaaaaay for The Triwizard Tournament, but doesn't it kind of suck for the seventh-year Quidditch players that there will be no Quidditch Cup in this, their last year at Hogwarts?

Wood wouldn't STAND for it, I tell you.
Bits and pieces:

  • How did Molly Weasely get gold out of Harry's vault FOR him? That . . . is not how banks work.
  • Hermione SEES a house-elf and is immediately a crusader for equal rights for all house-elves. A house-elf risks his life for Harry, and he remains unimpressed. Well OK then.
  • Hedwig and Pigwidgeon. That is all.
  • Mad-Eye is obviously wonderful, but I remember I'm supposed to be wary of him. So I'm giving Mad-Eye the side-eye until further notice.
  • "Arthur's the only one who can get Mad-Eye off . . ."


  1. Ahahaha Standing wood.

    Ok, done with that.

    ALSO that Snape gif is my favorite.

    ALSO maybe since Harry's underage, he got Molly added to his account, but the book didn't mention it because it's boring bank stuff and didn't think we'd want to watch them filling out paperwork (EVEN THOUGH WE TOTALLY WOULD BECAUSE THEN THE BOOK WOULD BE LONGER).

  2. I said a dirty thing and didn't even NOTICE. What is the world coming to?

    I accept your bank explanation. But I DO think it would've been sufficiently entertaining to see Molly fill out paperwork with a Gringotts goblin.

  3. I AM ALSO SUSPICIOUS OF BAGMAN. And in response to Ron saying "There's a riot going on" he's all "Damn them!" in an suspiciously familiar manner. Suspicious.

    Holy balls with that Cary Grant gif and your last bullet point. Hilarious. (Who would Cary Grant play in the Harry Potter movies? He'd make a positively spiffing Lockhart, certainly.)

  4. How did Molly get money from Harry's vault? Unless goblins are way less into security than the first book lead us to believe. Maybe you can't break into Gringotts but if you just ask nicely they'll open whatever vault.

  5. Oh man, what character WOULDN'T Cary Grant kick ass playing?

    Luna Lovegood, as played by Cary Grant:

    Neville Longbottom, as played by Cary Grant:

    Remus Lupin, as played by Cary Grant:

    Professor McGonagall, as played by Cary Grant:

    Severus Snape, as played by Cary Grant:'ve-Always-Been-Scared-Of-Women.gif

    Sirius Black, as played by Cary Grant:


  6. Aahahahahahhahahahahaha that is so funny I can't even be bothered to make sure I have the right ratio of h's to a's in there. You are my favourite.

  7. Bagman is totally suspicious! What ministry official moonlights as a bookie for teenagers??

    And since he didn't make it into the movie, this is your first time seeing Bagman, right? And Winky? They are both such cool characters and I'm sad they got cut...

    Maybe Bill helped out with the whole Molly-accessing-Harry's-account thing? I mean, maybe he vouched for her or something? Hm. Otherwise Gringotts doesn't seem so secure...

  8. "Arthur's the only one who can get Mad-Eye off . . ."

    Can't believe I missed that one! Hilarious!

    As an Australian (which is English by association, but also not really, so I'm sure Laura's answer will be very different) we don't have a klan per say, but we do have neo-nazis (see the film Romper Stomper with Russell Crowe for an upsetting look into Australia's racist underside) who don't have the history of the klan or the fancy dress, but believe much of the same stuff. Usually, but not always, it's a bit more of a youth culture thing.

  9. I'm so glad you pointed out the bit about the bank because it happens OVER AND OVER and I am like, goblins, DO YOUR JOB. I also anxiously await Laura's clarifications because I want to knoooow.

  10. *puts on very important English information hat* SO, as far as I know, there has never been a KKK in England, BUT it's a way international symbol of, you know, badness, that it's instantly recognisable. At least to me. Which isn't to say that England isn't/hasn't been a totally racist country, but there's less like, local elections and local positions of power that means people need to hide who they are less?

    Also there were practically no non-white people over here until after WWII, as far as I know, and by that point we'd learnt from America's mistakes? A little bit? *shrugs*

  11. Um, or I just found the website for the UK chapter of the KKK and wanted to throw my computer across the room? But still, the MAIN organisation is still American... *looks sheepish*

  12. Maybe it was the off-camera paperwork Alice suggested? All fair and aboveboard. I love that we're all so concerned about this though.

  13. He is a TERRIBLE influence. But yeah, I don't remember him or Winky from the movie. THIS is why we read the books.

  14. I felt ALMOST bad about pointing that out. But obviously not that bad.

    I thought about asking you as well about the KKK thing, and really it makes sense that there would be some sort of nefarious doings because of all the nefarious people that used to be sent to Australia as punishment and whatnot. My history is clearly all jumbled up.

  15. It happens MORE? Oh no...this simply will not do. We'll have to come to some sort of conclusion, or this will go the way of the wizard plumbing and haunt our sleepless nights.

  16. I will accept all this information as beyond reproach simply because you put on your important English information hat first. I thank you.

  17. Yeah we have a pretty shameful history with racism, i.e. our white Australia policy, labelling Indigenous Australians as fauna as recently as 40 years ago, the Cronulla riots....add some sheets, and the Death Eaters could easily represent Australians too.

    Ugh, that's so depressing. We're not all that bad!

  18. I am weeping, WEEPING at that Snape gif. I love a good Bad Lip Reading.

  19. I've been sitting on that one since the beginning, and I just decided SCREW IT. No time like the present.

  20. Do not disparage the English Information Hat, Laura!!

  21. DRAGON HEARTSTRINGS, people. I am telling you.

  22. Holy shit, Megs. This is the best. If you run out of ideas for your HP posts (AHHAHHAHAHA) you could always just recast the movies with all Cary. Go ahead. I'll drool over here.

  23. To be fair, at this point I'd read about pretty much any character read a wizarding recipe book.