Midway through Chamber of Secrets, everyone is convinced that Harry is the Heir of Slytherin because he talked Super-Secret Snake Language (it has a proper name, you say? Well I refuse to acknowledge it, because it's dumb) in front of basically the whole school and kind of seemed maybe to be telling the snake to eat someone. A MINOR misunderstanding, really.
But when he goes to apologize to the almost-victim, he stumbles upon a GOSSIP FEST.
“A group of the Hufflepuffs who should have been in Herbology were indeed sitting at the back of the library, but they didn’t seem to be working. . . . Their heads were close together and they were having what looked like an absorbing conversation.” (p. 198). . . about how Harry is a murderous snake charmer.
I especially like that the two most vocal of the bunch are described as “a stout boy” and “a girl with blonde pigtails.” Heh, Hufflepuffs . . . what a bunch of losers.
On a more adorable note, there are no fewer than four instances in which Ron demonstrates that he’s completely in love with Hermione already. For example:
“Ron read the message, swallowed hard, and looked sideways at the empty seat usually filled by Hermione. The sight seemed to stiffen his resolve, and he nodded.” (p. 270)
Just so we’re clear on why Ron is resolve-stiffening, he has to go into the Forbidden Forest in the middle of the night to follow a bunch of little spiders that will lead to a bunch of GIANT SPIDERS.
That's love, dudes.
While we're on the topic of Petrified Hermione, even though it’s the only way to revive everyone, I find it more than slightly morbid that paragraphs are devoted to explaining Mandrake development in the context of human maturation—hormonal acne and all—only to be followed by Madame Pomfrey saying, “It won’t be long before we’re cutting them up and stewing them” (p. 234). She could at least try not to sound so cheerful about it.
I know pretty much everyone loves Lockhart. In general, I can take him or leave him, but I have an intense fondness for innocuous, post-memory-loss Lockhart. He reminds me of the Witch of the Waste from Howl’s Moving Castle, after her magic and meanness are stripped away by that chair-spinny contraptionator.
|They would make a lovely couple.|