We're three-fourths of the way through Goblet of Fire, and this is what's happening: Winky's role model is Mammy from Gone With the Wind ("I is looking after the Crouches all my life, and my mother is doing it before me, and my grandmother is doing it before her . . ."); Hagrid is feeding dragon liver to the Blast-Ended Skrewts (I think it's safe to say we've all underestimated the availability of dragon parts; heartstrings for everyone!); Fleur worries about gaining weight and not fitting into her dress robes (they are ROBES, Fleur); McGonagall's idea of dressing up is superior to everyone else's (Tartan is the fanciest of all the patterns); at the Yule Ball, Karkaroff is looking at Krum the way Ron is looking at Hermione (I see this as somewhat of a problem); and Moody is using his magical eye to look through Harry's robes (ALSO A PROBLEM).
Let's talk about families.
I know we're supposed to be indignant over the superb stinginess of the Dursleys in sending Harry a single tissue for Christmas this year, but I continue to be impressed when they send him ANYTHING. I mean, he's out of sight, out of mind for a WHOLE year. And yet, around Christmas, they think of him at least long enough to send him something from the bottom of Aunt Petunia's purse. And they might even have to use some sort of magical conveyance to get it to him at Hogwarts, which you KNOW they hate. So I choose to see this glass as half full . . . of terrible relatives.
In a
"Tiny little bloke, my dad was. By the time I was six I could lift him up an' put him on top o' the dresser if he annoyed me." (p. 428)
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| He's gonna get back to us when he works it out. |
Human/giant sex, RIGHT? I know, it's...strange to think about. I mean, I guess the woman would have to be the giant because otherwise there'd be some...unfortunate complications. And can you imagine the delivery? I've never even had a baby and I know that it would be the worst. Thing. Ever.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't forget McG's wreath of thistles - she is the fanciest dame at that ball.
ReplyDeleteThe giant thing is...weird. At least it's only 20 ft though because I know I used to imagine them more as 20m and that would be crey. The giant thing just gets even more complicated next book when we learn more about them, I don't think JK thought too much about this, or didn't expect her readers to grow up and question EVERYTHING!
YES. It would not work the other way around....*shudder*
ReplyDeleteI just clutched at myself thinking of man giant-human lady. OUCH
ReplyDeleteI am totally suspicious of the Dursley's Christmas present. Because... They just WOULDN'T bother sending it! They just wouldn't! But I think JK had a LOT of fun thinking of the worst possible Christmas present so I'm going to let her have it. She deserves it.
ReplyDeleteOh man, I commented on this post on my phone but it doesn't seem to have actually posted? I can't remember what I wrote except I'm pretty sure it was something along the line of how weird the giant/human relationship is, except before being told they were approx 20ft tall I always imagine giants more around the 20m mark which is WAYYYYYYY more mind-boggling, so thank you JK for only making it kinda weird.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, and considering what we learn about giants in the next book a relationship seems kinda unlikely, especially for at least 3 years (more if they dated before making a baby Hagrid).
But I guess JK didn't expect people like us to pull it apart and try and understand the exact how and what of it all!
"Tartan is the fanciest of all the patterns" Ahahaha
ReplyDeleteI was heartily amused by this post. I have nothing helpful to say.
"So I choose to see this glass as half full . . . of terrible relatives." I can't help but picture the Dursleys at the bottom of a drinking glass, really pissed off they've been put there. Also it is sort of impressive they bother to send him anything. See, they almost kinda can stand him in their own way.
ReplyDeleteThey wouldn't have ever bothered to send him anything ANY of these Christmases. It's totally out of character for them. But...yes, fine, we can let her have her fun.
ReplyDeleteI KNOW. I saw your comment because it came to my e-mail, but then I couldn't find it here to reply to you.
ReplyDeleteWHAT do we learn about giants in the next book? I MUST KNOW.
I am glad you were amused. I was feeling a little uninspired when writing this post...Middle of Goblet of Fire Slump or something I guess.
ReplyDeleteI actually kind of tried to find a picture of something like that...but I gave up. They would be very unhappy about being in a drinking glass though.
ReplyDeleteI ALSO thought that about Karkaroff : Krum :: Ron : Hermione. AWKWARDS.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think it's more of a problem if DAD'S a giant and MOM is a tiny human. For...obvious reasons. The other way around they could work it out with positioning, I think.
That seems to be the consensus. Lady-giant: Acceptable. Gentleman-giant: OHMYGOODNESS NO GET AWAY FROM MY TENDER AREAS.
ReplyDelete