So Prisoner of Azkaban. This has been perhaps the most eventful book so far. The evil-wizard-who-isn’t turns out to be Harry’s dogfather godfather.
There’s a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher who has
some dark arts I don't WANT to be defended against, if you catch my drift. Harry almost dies some more on the
Quidditch field. A hippogriff is wrongfully executed (OR IS HE?). Hermione
bends the laws of time and space so she can be an even bigger nerd. Ron shows
character for just a minute right at the end of Chapter 19. The scaly, putrid Hand
of the Law tries to Cuckoo’s Nest an innocent child.
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| This is getting out of hand, guys. |
But I don’t want to talk about any of that. Instead, I’m gonna use
this post to talk about Harry’s latent romantic feelings for Neville
Longbottom.
“Woss your name?” Stan persisted.
“Neville Longbottom,” said Harry, saying the first name that came into his head. (p. 34)
He watched, as though somebody was playing him a piece of film, Sirius Black blasting Peter Pettigrew (who resembled Neville Longbottom) into a thousand pieces. (p. 213)
Harry slept badly. First he dreamed that he had overslept, and that Wood was yelling, “Where were you? We had to use Neville instead!” (p. 302)
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| The Valentine Harry REALLY wanted in Book 2. |
And Lupin sums up Snape in one sentence:
“What about Professor Snape?” said Hermione in a small voice, looking down at Snape’s prone figure.
“There’s nothing seriously wrong with him,” said Lupin. (p. 377)
I think you summed up the important parts of the book. Because really, Harry obviously loves Neville. Like EVERYONE WITH A SOUL. *nods definitively*
ReplyDeleteI mean, how do they not fire the dementors after they try to suck the soul out of a little kid? I know Fudge is a dope but I don't understand how he can justify carrying on using them. That can't be the first time this has happened, right?
ReplyDeleteHe DOES love Neville! Everything makes so much more sense now. Although I thought he was a big ol' jerk when he was all "Oh yeah, I'll meet you in the common room in a minute Neville" and Neville was all "OK, sweet!" *scurries off* and then Harry was all "L8R SUCKAH" *fucks off to Hogsmeade*. But maybe he was just avoiding his feelings.
ReplyDeleteOh man...I FORGOT about that. I guess we sometimes hurt the ones we love.
ReplyDeleteOk also, I kind of really want to do that thing in the first picture - be a dementor with a kissing booth. Except I'd probably give it all away by snickering quietly to myself about how hilarious I think I am - when I'm not howling with laughter.
ReplyDeleteI just decided that THIS is how you'll meet the love of your life. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteIt is POSSIBLE. It will be Halloween before we know it...
ReplyDeleteHAHA I love your description of Hermione - the most powerful timelord- I mean, nerd. Sometimes, it's synonymous.
ReplyDeleteAnd gasp! I didn't see the subtext between Harry and Neville BUT NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE. It's okay to be confused, Harry. Just go with it, hurhurr...
Someone HAS to have written a Doctor Who/Hermione fanfic, right?
ReplyDeleteI didn't think of it either! My fingers actually typed it out without my conscious approval, and when I was correcting myself, I realized that it was sort of actually true. So it remains.
ReplyDeleteIf Snape and Lucius Malfoy got together, there would be SO much hair flouncing. And clogged drains.
Ahahaha...it is the laziest of all posts ever.
ReplyDeleteDude. This is the perfectest post.
ReplyDeleteThey should maybe be retained for the rare occasion when a Dementor's kiss is actually called for. Like for Voldemort. They can kiss his face RIGHT off (come to think of it, is that what happened to his nose?).
ReplyDeleteWhich REMINDS me, are we all aware of the Internet joke about Ron being immune to the Dementors because he's a ginger and gingers have no souls? I giggled and then felt terrible about it almost immediately.
ReplyDeleteThis post made me laugh ALL THE LAUGHS. Good times. Dogfather? I can't believe I missed that opportunity. So glad you went there.
ReplyDeleteI kinda dig the Harry/Neville pairing, but then that would destroy my secret Harry/Draco hopes. And we all know they look fabulous together.
I've been sitting on one of those Snape/flouncing hair gifs and waiting to use it, but yours is better than mine. But he SO deserves it.