Friday, June 14, 2013

Harry Potter and the Deathly Readalong 4: "My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?"

First of all, let me just say . . . Being Sad is not my most beloved of leisure activities, and I have spent more time Being Sad in my leisure time this past week than doing anything else. AND I BLAME ALL OF YOU.

Teddy is my only friend now.

There were just a couple of times when I took a break from Being Sad to be Cautiously Amused. Like when Ginny thought she heard Ron and Hermione say something about the bathroom right before disappearing together for a prolonged period of time. (They were gathering Basilisk fangs in the Chamber of Secrets, obviously. Geez. Get your minds out of the gutter.)

Speaking of Ron and Hermione going on solo missions to remote parts of Hogwarts, the first time WE see them kiss is the first time Harry sees them kiss, which is right after Ron says a nice thing about house-elves. But I’m not entirely convinced that was their first kiss. Almost completely certain it wasn’t, actually. Or maybe it was. I just realized I’m not all that invested in this theory.

But do you know what theory I AM invested in? (Look at all my smooth segues today! I’ve just ruined them by pointing them out, haven’t I?) The good ship Potterfoy. I will go DOWN with that ship holding tight to just a couple of tidbits. I can live off tidbits for AGES.

Tidbit #1: "'Don’t kill him! DON’T KILL HIM!' Malfoy yelled at Crabbe and Goyle, who were both aiming at Harry" (pp. 631–631).

Tidbit #2: "Malfoy was screaming and holding Harry so tightly it hurt" (p. 634).

Damn. Fresh out of tidbits.

Another theory I’ve been working on (i.e., thought of just now) has to do with perhaps the only big secret Severus Snape succeeded in taking to his grave. 
"With a tingle of horror, Harry saw in the distance a huge, batlike shape flying through the darkness toward the perimeter wall." (p. 599)

Snape was Batman.

I didn’t shed actual tears at any point in this last book. (There was a LOT of lip trembling and throat tightening. I’m not a robot.) But the most emotional moments for me were the ones that continued a tiny thread from the very first book. Like when Hermione yells at Ron: "Are you a wizard, or what?" (p. 651). And when Hagrid tenderly carries through the woods what he thinks is Harry’s body . . . much like when Hagrid carried a smaller Harry to the doorstep of Number 4 Privet Drive. And when we see through Snape’s memories how hurt Petunia was that she wasn’t magical like her little sister—a hurt she carried into adulthood. And when Neville’s Gryffindor qualities (the ones that made it possible for him to stand up to his friends in those little-boy PJs) fully manifest in the absence of Harry, Ron, and Hermione at Hogwarts.

It’s like, in this last section, everyone’s very best qualities come out (even Kreacher’s). Which makes it all the more painful when some of these people are taken away from us.

And that means I can’t put this off any longer. It’s time for the final, and most painful . . .

1. Crabbe (burned in hellfire of his own making)
2. Fred (I refuse to talk about it.)
3. Lavender Brown (fell from a balcony; briefly savaged by Fenrir Grayback)
4. Severus Snape (received Hicky of Death from Nagini)
5. Lupin and Tonks (manner of death unknown)
6. Colin Creevey (manner of death unknown)
7. Bellatrix (cursed by badass Mama Weasley)
8. Voldemort (was his own undoing)
9. Fifty others (I'm sure they died bravely and well.)

And Draco and Harry AREN'T best friends in 19 years?!


  1. :O... Snape WAS Batman! Blimey.

    I completely failed to do a Death Count this week because I was TOO BUSY CRYING (seriously, Megs? Not even one tear?! WEEP!) but also because I kind of lost count. And I KEEP forgetting that Colin Creevey died and everyone keeps reminding me and I'm really sad about it!

    Is it wrong that at this point I'm more invested in Draco-Harry than Ron-Hermione? Nahhhhhhh. It's fine.

  2. Not one tear. But you don't have to make me feel like a freak about it! I have been sort of weeping through everyone's posts, so maybe I just repressed all my big emotions for as long as I could.

    I think your investment in Draco/Harry is a natural side effect of our total fixation on making them a Thing over the past 6 months. Our job here is done.

  3. I did! I did have to do that! And I don't know why! But yeah, I'm going with the repressed emotion thing. YOUR SOUL IS SAVED! (Or something...)

    I'm glad we were all just here to make me hyper-aware of Draco-Harry interaction. Makes me feel all special :)

  4. I still like to think Hermione and Ron were doing things in the co-ed prefects bathroom from the 5th book onward.

    It is SO TRUE that everyone's best qualities come out in this section. Even with the villains you have Narcissa protecting Harry and lying to the big man so she can go save her son.

    I totally agree with Nana's disgust that Harry and Draco aren't friends when they're older. Shit it's been 19 years and YOU GUYS KEPT SAVING EACH OTHER during that really epic battle. Please get over the fact that you disliked each other in grade school. You're sounding like Sirius and Snape.

  5. Well I just cried at work, talking to Alice about the readalong. My soul is safe.

  6. Ooooo...yes, I like to think that, too.

    Maybe Rose really WILL marry Scorpio. THAT'LL show them.

  7. Wait, is it confirmed that Lavendar died? I think I remember it being mentioned that she was "stirring feebly" after Greyback attacked her...

    Snape as Batman is HANDS DOWN the best theory to come out of this readalong. I bet he wears his bat costume under his voluminous black cloak.

  8. I'm pretty sure? I think they just saved her from being further mauled. She definitely dies in the movie.

    Your FAVORITE theory? You flatter me, madam.

  9. SO MANY THINGS. But this: "Or maybe it was. I just realized I’m not all that invested in this theory" is pretty much how I felt about many things that others cared about this week. Glad I'm not the only one vis a vis Hermione and Ron.

    Snape will now live as Batman and I will completely disregard the scene from the book where he dies. (Most fanfic does). Clearly he would have had an antidote on hand from the snake venom because he's the potions master. Now he battles epic evil in a bat suit.

  10. He is just the right amount of brooding to carry it off. And he has a lovely my mind, that is.

  11. "Hickey of death from Nagini" --What a way to go right?

    I will be really angry if no one has written Snape=Batman fanfic or a crossover comic.

  12. I think you might have to be angry...because I don't see any o' that. YET.

  13. Then there's a market. Quick Meg, get to creatin' and Kickstarter the shit out of it!

  14. YES, now I'm hoping so hard that Snape is Batman because that is awesome. And I don't think there's any confirmation that Lavender died. Last we heard of her, she was feebly stirring, or something. I don't feel like checking, but I've always assumed that she lived and maybe became a werewolf? I'm not sure of the moon's status that night.

  15. Yesss Snape as batman! He's always swooping around and everything! And jumping out that window, leaving a Snape-shaped hole? That has batman written all over it. You are ON to something, madame.