I know this is the last book, and I haven’t been saying this
for any of these posts . . . but it’s my duty to warn you that I am
about to spoil the ever-fondled Horklumps out of this book. And that means
spoiling the whooooole series. So watch yourself, you person who still
hasn’t read the books and/or seen the movies. (I see you there, you last
unicorn, you.)
So that William Penn quote at the beginning? “Death is but
crossing the world, as friends do the seas; they live in one another still”?
 |
| Just be straight with us, Rowling. |
But I’m not ready to talk about that yet. NOT ready.
I just casually mentioned to my husband the other night that Rowling was
getting out of control with her wand euphemisms, and he was AGHAST that I could
be so horrible as to see phallic imagery in this most beloved of children’s
series. And *I* was aghast that he didn’t already realize this series is chock
FULL of phallic imagery. And then we argued. And
then I went to Twitter, where I was sure to find support for my case. And
Kayleigh came to my immediate aid with a “wands are wangs” comment. And now my
husband just thinks we’re ALL dirty. (He's not wrong, ya'll.)
But I promised you penis jokes:
“He drew out his own wand and compared the lengths.” (I’ve HEARD that guys do this.)
Ron talking about a book that teaches boys how to get girls: “You’d be surprised, it’s not all about wandwork, either.” (I mean, come ON. It’s right there.)
On a more serious note, when I was reading that obituary Elphias
Doge wrote for Dumbledore, I was thinking that could EASILY have been Ron writing
about Harry. They met at the age of 11 on the first day at Hogwarts. Dumbledore was already notorious at the school because of something his dad did.
“Our mutual attraction was undoubtedly due to the fact that we both felt ourselves to be outsiders. . . .
Being continually outshone was an occupational hazard of being his friend.”
SCHOOL FRIENDS. And also Dumbledore being dead
still. And also Elphias Doge's dandelion hair topped with a fez. *sniffle*
And with that, I can’t avoid it anymore. Two-hundred pages
in, and there have been DEATHS.
1. Hedwig (I HATE EVERYTHING)
2. George’s ear (*weeps prematurely for twin things to come*)
3. Mad-Eye Moody (Meh)
**EDITED TO ADD that Laura's post reminded me Charity Burbage and Rufus Scrimgeour also died in this section. Sorry, Charity and Rufus, but I didn't care about you overly much.**
**EDITED TO ADD that Laura's post reminded me Charity Burbage and Rufus Scrimgeour also died in this section. Sorry, Charity and Rufus, but I didn't care about you overly much.**
